Maria Semple Same Old Crap Again Today
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"That'south right,' she told the girls. 'Yous are bored. And I'm going to let y'all in on a piddling hole-and-corner about life. Y'all think it'south boring now? Well, it but gets more than tedious. The sooner you learn it's on you to make life interesting, the better off you'll be."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, similar I'm going to die. But the proficient kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you lot with something? If not, delight step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"This is why yous must beloved life: ane day you're offer upwardly your social security number to the Russian Mafia; two weeks afterward you're using the word calve every bit a verb."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"Maybe that'due south what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will have care of you and carry yous to the correct place."
― Where'd You Get, Bernadette
― Where'd You Get, Bernadette
"I can pinpoint that as the unmarried happiest moment of my life, considering I realized then that Mom would always take my dorsum. Information technology made me feel giant. I raced back down the concrete ramp, faster than I ever had earlier, so fast I should take fallen, merely I didn't fall, considering Mom was in the world."
― Where'd You lot Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You lot Go, Bernadette
"Can you lot believe the weather?'...'Actually, I Tin can believe the conditions. What I can't believe is that I'm actually having a conversation about the weather."
― Where'd Y'all Go, Bernadette
― Where'd Y'all Go, Bernadette
"People similar you lot must create. If you don't create, Bernadette, you lot will go a menace to society."
― Where'd Yous Become, Bernadette
― Where'd Yous Become, Bernadette
"One of the main reasons I don't like leaving the house is because I might find myself face to face with a Canadian."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"Only because it's complicated, just because you lot retrieve y'all can't always know everything about another person, it doesn't mean you tin't endeavor."
― Where'd Yous Go, Bernadette
― Where'd Yous Go, Bernadette
"I'd say I never considered myself a bang-up architect. I'm more than of a creative problem solver with good gustation and a soft spot for logistical nightmares."
― Where'd Yous Get, Bernadette
― Where'd Yous Get, Bernadette
"What's this?" She pulled out a card and held information technology away from her confront. "I can't read what it says." I took information technology from her and read it aloud.
1. Beeber Bifocal
2. Twenty Mile House
3. Bee
4. Your escape
Fourteen miracles to become."
― Where'd Yous Go, Bernadette
"Americans are pushy, obnoxious, neurotic, crass - anything and everything - the full catastrophe every bit our friend Zorba might say. Canadians are none of that. The way you lot might fear a cow sitting down in the center of the street during rush hour, that'due south how I fearfulness Canadians. To Canadians, anybody is equal. Joni Mitchell is interchangeable with a secretary at open-mic dark. Frank Gehry is no greater than a hack pumping out McMansions on AutoCAD. John Candy is no funnier than Uncle Lou when he gets a couple of beers in him. No wonder the only Canadians anyone'southward ever heard of are the ones who have gotten the hell out. Anyone with talent who stayed would be flattened nether an avalanche of equality. The thing Canadians don't sympathize is that some people are boggling and should exist treated as such."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"Life is a stew, and pot is poop.If someone stirred even a teeny-fleck of poop in the stew, would you really want to eat it?"
― Where'd Y'all Go, Bernadette
― Where'd Y'all Go, Bernadette
"When "Here Comes the Sun" started, what happened? No, the sun didn't come up out, but Mom opened upwardly like the sun breaking through the clouds. You know how in the first few notes of that song, there's something near George's guitar that's simply so hopeful? It was like when Mom sang, she was full of hope, also. She fifty-fifty got the irregular clapping right during the guitar solo. When the song was over, she paused.
"Oh Bee," she said. "This song reminds me of you lot." She had tears in her eyes."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"We were quiet for a while, and then I said, "I call up my favorite part of Antarctica is just looking out." You lot know why?" Dad asked. "When your optics are softly focused on the horizon for sustained periods, your brain releases endorphins. It's the same as a runner's high."
― Where'd You lot Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You lot Go, Bernadette
"I felt then full of honey for everything. But at the same fourth dimension, I felt so hung out to dry there, similar nobody could ever sympathize. I felt so alone in this world, and and then loved at the same time."
― Where'd Yous Become, Bernadette
― Where'd Yous Become, Bernadette
"I tin feel the irrationality and anxiety draining my shop of free energy similar a battery-operated racecar grinding abroad in the corner. This is the free energy I will demand to go through the next solar day. But I just lie in bed and watch information technology burn, and with information technology whatever hope for a productive tomorrow. There get the dishes, there goes the grocery store, there goes do, there goes bringing in the garbage cans. There goes basic human kindness."
― Where'd You Become, Bernadette
― Where'd You Become, Bernadette
"Hither's something about Mom: she's bad with annoyances, but swell in a crisis. If a waiter doesn't refill her water subsequently she'due south asked three times, or she forgets her dark glasses when the lord's day comes out, look out! But when information technology comes to something truly bad happening, Mom plugs into this supreme calm."
― Where'd Y'all Go, Bernadette
― Where'd Y'all Go, Bernadette
"Those East Coast rich kids are a different brood, on a fast rails to nowhere. Your friends in Seattle are downright Canadian in their niceness. None of you has a cell telephone. The girls wear hoodies and big cotton underpants and walk effectually with tangled hair and grinning, adorned backpacks. Practise y'all know how admittedly exotic information technology is that yous haven't been corrupted by mode and pop culture? A month agone I mentioned Ben Stiller, and do y'all remember how you responded? 'Who'southward that?' I loved you all over again."
― Where'd You Become, Bernadette
― Where'd You Become, Bernadette
"Its like a hypnotist put anybody from Seattle into a collective trance. "You lot are getting sleepy, when you wake up y'all volition want to alive simply in a Craftsman house, the year won't affair to you lot, all that will matter is that the walls volition exist thick, the windows tiny, the rooms night, the ceilings low, and it will be poorly situated on the lot."
― Where'd Yous Go, Bernadette
― Where'd Yous Go, Bernadette
"We'd pass icebergs floating in the middle of the ocean. They were gigantic, with foreign formations carved into them. They were so haunting and regal you could feel your center break, but really they're but chunks of ice and they mean nothing."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"Hovering over me was the Chihuly chandelier. Chihulys are the pigeons of Seattle. They're everywhere and even if they don't go far your style, yous tin can't assistance simply build up a kind of antipathy toward them."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"When your optics are softly focused on the horizon for sustained periods, your encephalon releases endorphins. It's the aforementioned as a runner's high. These days, we spend our lives staring at screens twelve inches in front of us."
―
―
"We were similar the Beatles, Dad.'
'I know you lot think that, sweetie'
'Seriously. Mom is John, y'all're Paul, I'm George, and Ice Cream is Ringo.'
'Water ice Cream,' I said. 'Resentful of the past, fearful of the time to come...everytime we saw Ice Cream sitting in that location with her mouth open, we'd say, Poor Water ice Foam, resentful of the by, fearful of the futurity."
― Where'd You Become, Bernadette
'I know you lot think that, sweetie'
'Seriously. Mom is John, y'all're Paul, I'm George, and Ice Cream is Ringo.'
'Water ice Cream,' I said. 'Resentful of the past, fearful of the time to come...everytime we saw Ice Cream sitting in that location with her mouth open, we'd say, Poor Water ice Foam, resentful of the by, fearful of the futurity."
― Where'd You Become, Bernadette
"The drivers hither are horrible. And past horrible, I mean they don't realize I take someplace to exist."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
"I don't mean to ruin the ending for you, sweet child, but life is one long headwind. To brand any kind of bear upon requires self-will adjoining on madness. The world volition be hostile, information technology will be suspicious of your intent, it will misinterpret you, it volition inject you with dubiety, information technology volition flatter you into self-sabotage. My God, I'm making information technology audio then glamorous and personal! What the world is, more anything? It's indifferent."
"Say amen to that," Spencer said.
"But you have a vision. You put a frame around it. You sign your proper name anyhow. That's the risk. That's the bound. That's the madness: thinking anyone's going to care."
― Today Will Be Unlike
"Say amen to that," Spencer said.
"But you have a vision. You put a frame around it. You sign your proper name anyhow. That's the risk. That's the bound. That's the madness: thinking anyone's going to care."
― Today Will Be Unlike
"Information technology's for survival. Y'all demand to be prepared for novel experiences considering often they signal danger. If you live in a jungle full of fragrant flowers, you lot accept to cease being so overwhelmed by the lovely olfactory property because otherwise you couldn't odour a predator. That'due south why your brain is considered a discounting mechanism. Information technology's literally a matter of survival." "That's cool."
― Where'd You lot Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You lot Go, Bernadette
"All those ninnies have information technology incorrect. The best thing about Seattle is the weather. The globe over, people have ocean views. Merely across our body of water is Bainbridge Island, an evergreen curb, and over it the exploding, craggy, snow-scraped Olympics. I guess what I'g saying: I miss it, the mountains and the water."
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
― Where'd You Go, Bernadette
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